Kirsten Dunst was attacked this week in the media by women (who call themselves feminists) because of comments she made in a Harper’s Bazaar interview.

These “feminists” described her as a “dumb blonde” who just “looks good in clothes” and is “not paid to write gender theory, so it’s not surprising.”

Last time I checked, insulting another woman based upon her own personal views and the way she wishes to live her life…is the opposite of feminism.

These riled up “feminists” were so worried about starting an argument about political correctness that they failed to read the whole interview. It’s classic confirmation bias. They read the part that angered them and went off.

Dunst said she felt femininity has been “undervalued.”

She goes on to say, "Femininity has lost its meaning. Our culture and media teach women that success means running after careers and money." 

"We all have to get our own jobs and make our own money, but staying at home, nurturing, being the mother, cooking — it’s a valuable thing my mum created." 

"Instead, a pro-woman society should emphasize a woman’s importance and worth, no matter her decision in how to live out her life."

What Kirsten Dunst said is, essentially, the essence of feminism. That no one woman can define feminism.  That a woman can support equality, and be strong, fierce and independent—whether she is a stay-at-home mom or a CEO of a major corporation.

I am a woman. And I think that I can be both feminine and a feminist.

I like wearing dresses, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be treated any less equal than a man.

I like and thank men who open doors for me because I am an appreciative and decent human being who just had something kind done for them. I know I can do it myself, but accepting help from someone doesn’t make me submissive or any less powerful. 

Until I find someone I want to love, marry and share the rest of my life with, I want to work a job…probably multiple jobs in different fields over the course of my life…doing what I love, for however long I want, and be given equal pay and equal treatment under the law. But, does this mean I have to act or dress like a man? No. I can do what I want because it’s my choice.

And when I do find that special person, I want to be a stay-at-home mom some day. I want to cook for my family, teach my children how to ride bikes and drive cars, make cupcakes for the kids in their class, and own and run my home. Does that make me less feminist? No. That’s my choice. I want to do that.  

Do you see the pattern here? It’s my choice. It’s EVERY woman’s choice.

Is there a rule book for feminism? No.

Do you have to meet X, Y, Z criteria in order to be a feminist? No.

I don’t need “those who call themselves feminists” telling me how to be a feminist.

I am a strong woman who can decide and choose how I want to live my life.

AND THAT…is feminism.

Yep ;-)